So, Rachel came home yesterday, or actually two days ago. Yesterday was the first I saw her. We hung out in school, I didn't have a lot of classes to go to. I was thrilled to see her for the first time in two weeks, even though she said she was "disappointed in my appearance". She can't believe she's the only one who notices when I don't shave. Anyway, she seemed really excited to get caught up with all her old teachers. It was an awkward kind of day, trying to find places in school we could hang out, her talking to teachers while I just sort of stood there. Rachel puts on this whole other persona sometimes around people, especially people she likes whom she hasn't seen for a while. It's kind of like the point-smile-"How'ya doin'???" persona. I feel so weird being around her when she's like that. It's hard to describe... overly friendly, I guess. She's never reacted like that when seeing me, thank God. I think it may even be some kind of defense mechanism for her, for people she's almost but not quite comfortable around.
Anyway, I didn't get to see her today because of the freezing rain, and she was feeling a little sick to begin with. It was disappointing because I had the entire evening free (except that we'd have to have dinner at my house, it being my brother's birthday and all). Really, I'm just very relieved to have her here, and not at college. I'm a very jealous boyfriend, it's true. I get a little worked up at the thought of her being in that dorm... in such close quarters... around all those guys... I mean, duh her roommate's a girl, but they could at least have separated the floor into two sections by gender, not be totally random about it.
I'm sorry, I'm officially in rant-mode, you may want to skip this next paragraph.
I know in college kids are supposed to be so "enlightened" and everything... leave their parents' ways behind, forge a path of their own. That's why college doesn't exactly breed conservatism. But still, even in the enlightened, liberalized world of college, how realistic is it to have dorms so co-ed? The bathroom situation, I mean specifically. In the adult world, women and men don't go parading down the same hallways in nothing but their bath towels, it just doesn't happen. Seems to me like it's completely stripping you of your privacy, and in fact very unnatural. If college is supposed to be preparing you for adulthood, why not give you a taste of what adulthood is really like? Let every room have its own bathroom, and if practicality won't allow for it, why not allow normal gender separations to take place, as mandated by the rest of society? Fortunately, UArts dorms are suite-style, with every suite having its own kitchen and bathroom, and none of the individual suites are co-ed, so hopefully I'll never find myself in this situation. Not that I couldn't handle it, or I'd be too shy, or whatever, it's just something I find very irresponsible and just plain weird, on the part of the college, and I wouldn't want to be subjected to it. I'm really thinking more for the girls' sake than the guys'... you know men.
Anyway, now that that's out of the way. As I was saying, I am a pretty jealous boyfriend. She talked about a guy who's kind of her friend there in Philly, whose a couple doors down from her, and I couldn't help feeling a little jealous. It's not as if I think she's going to leave me and run off with him, it's just that hey, I'm the one who loves her, why is he the one who gets to spend all his time with her? Not that she's really spending that much time with him... ah well, I never said my feelings were rational. This is one of the many things I don't particularly like about myself, but at least I know that after this year I'll probably get to spend all sorts of time with her, and the year after that I may even have the privilege of calling her my house-mate (apartment-mate, whatever (also probably one of about three or four apartment-mates)).
So, as per my original point, I'm glad she's home. I love her very much and hope I get to spend all day with her tomorrow.
-Dr. M
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